DON’T BREAK HER

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Women are special beings created with a heart to love and be loved and whenever women are in love with their spouse or partner they can go to any length or extent to keep, protect and also fight for their love. However, many men in the society capitalize on this to break and hurt their women through their erratic and illicit behaviours.  A woman can totally become uncontrollable, disrespectful and resentful whenever her emotion (love) is tainted and tampered with.

So what are the behaviours of men that break or hurt their women?

One of the main goals of relationships or marriages is to have a stress free and peaceful home, but these cannot be achieved if there are neglected symptoms, that is, ways husbands destroy their wives and these include the following:

1.            Abandonment: this is one of the quickest and simplest ways through which most men are destroying their wives and it is a miserable experience for a wife to feel abandoned.  Although she may have a job and/or friends, she still desires to spend time with the man she claim to love and whenever she has the feeling of isolation or deprivation, her emotion becomes weak and hurt and she attacks you with hurtful words and disrespectful behaviour – which is one of her greatest weapon used out of fear and loneliness to get your attention.

The question now is what are the things that shows that you are abandoning your wife as a man?  They include the following:

i.                    Spending long hours at work

ii.                  Not engaging your children or wife whenever you are at home.

iii.                When you replace conversation with your wife with computer or games

2.    Emotional Distancing: Your woman feels rejuvenated, alive and energized whenever she is with you, that is, close to you.  Distancing yourself from her emotionally can be destructive to her and the peace of your home.  So, while you strive to have that privacy and independence, your woman craves to connect with you emotionally and she feels dejected or rejected when you are affectionate only when you want to have sex with her.

Ways by which your wife can feel connected are:

i.                    Hug: Yes! Hug her often.

ii.                  Talk to her about your day

iii.                Discuss your anticipations, fears and dreams with her.

iv.                 Kiss her unexpectedly

v.                   Give her undivided attention whenever she is with you.

Your wife becomes respectful, loving and caring when her need for closeness and attention is met.

3.               Always trying to correct her: Your wife sees you as her strength and supporter and she believes you can handle any situation that is bothering her but most men today often try to fix their wives in their own way not minding that this can break her emotion.  So instead of trying to fix her, try to listen to her (be attentive) and ask if she needs a remedy or listening ear and in so doing, she feels you understand her feelings.

4.        Failure to apologize whenever you are wrong: There is no perfect relationship or marriage and all marriages passes through trying periods but failure to resolve conflict can ruin relationships.  Many men in the society today see apologizing as a sign of weakness, and whenever a man refuses to take responsibility for his mistakes and actions, he creates a deep vacuum of bitterness in the heart of his wife.  So, for you not to break your wife, apologize whenever you hurt her and this can soothe her heart, making her to love and respect you more and more and it also shows that you are open minded and willing to make the relationship work.

5.           Taking her insecurity for granted: Many men make their wives feel insecure through their illicit and erotic deeds.  A woman becomes committed to you as a man the day she says “I do” to you and she will always be motivated by your love, security and loyalty.  However, she can feel insecure whenever she sees you flirting with other women whether knowingly or unknowingly.  Even though it is natural for men to look at other women, it becomes hurtful whenever you do it in a lustful manner disregarding your wife’s feelings and staring in a way that discomforts her.  Some men have ruined their healthy relationships through illicit affairs.  Illicit affairs are basically any immoral acts which cannot be unveiled and it includes:

i.                    Visiting dating site(s) after marriage

ii.                  Pornography

iii.                Keeping private chat on Facebook, WhatsApp, Telegram, etc.

All these improper acts can devalue your wife and make you lose her for life.  Your wife needs to feel secure and making her insecure can give room for her to also take revenge on you not minding the consequence.  So, men should strive to reassure their wives that they can be safe and secure with them.

6.           Not taking responsibility: In the society today, many husbands blame their wives for their failures and weaknesses.  So rather than blame your wife, it is time to take full responsibility for your actions and behaviours.  The choice is yours and you can change your world if you make a right decision to be a better man.

7.      When you fail to appreciate her: A woman needs to be appreciated and celebrated and whenever her simple gestures are taken for granted, she becomes aggressive and bitter.  So, men should appreciate their wives by following these tips:

i.                    Let her know that she is on your mind by calling her or texting her during the day

ii.                  Buy gifts for her

iii.                Don’t forget her birthday and wedding anniversary.  All these days mean a lot to her.

A woman can freak out if her expectations are not met especially by her husband.  So, if you want your wife to be good, loving, caring and supporting, treat her like a queen and she will definitely return the kindness.  Share your real feelings with her, be free with her and she will be your woman for a lifetime.

Till I come your way another time, do not break your woman.

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©2020 Ògúnsolá Olúwasayò